If you know me personally, you know I’m passionate and intensely curious. I love my work, and I don’t want to miss anything life has to offer.
But wanting to do it all can get you into trouble. You can fill your days so full that you have little energy left to enjoy them.
Maybe you know what I mean. You say yes and immediately wish you hadn’t. You sit down with someone you love, but your mind is somewhere else. You finally get a quiet evening, but you can’t relax.
And when someone asks how you’re doing, you say, “Fine. Just busy.”
Are you fine? Or have you gotten so used to stress that you’ve started calling it normal?
You don’t need a packed calendar to feel overloaded. Worry, relationship problems, and your own expectations can wear you out, too.
The good news is you can do something about it. You can’t control everything life hands you, but you can change some of the habits that make it harder. Start with one or two of these six strategies.
1. Be honest with yourself
Do small things irritate you more than they used to? Do you keep postponing something you enjoy? Are the people you love getting your shortest answers and your sharpest tone?
You may still be getting things done. But what is it costing you?
Your ACTION step:
Finish this sentence: “My current stress is costing me ______.”
Then choose one change for this week. Say no to one request. Ask for help. Be honest about what you can reasonably carry.
2. Do more of what matters most
You say your health and relationships matter. Does your calendar agree?
An appointment gets a definite time. A walk or a visit with a friend gets “when things settle down.” And that time never comes.
There isn’t time for everything. Don’t major in the minors.
Your ACTION step:
Ask, “What would I regret neglecting for another year?”
Put one thing that matters on this week’s calendar and protect that time.
And get a little help putting this into practice
Knowing what to change is one thing. Following through can be harder. That’s where NEXT-LEVEL YOU™ can help.
We explore Refreshing BALANCE and practical ways to strengthen your confidence, communication, relationships, purpose, and leadership. You get live classes with me, guest interviews, replays, useful handouts and assessments, and an encouraging community. Every class stands alone. You’re never behind, and you don’t have to do everything.
Try it FREE for seven days. Join my interview Tuesday, October 13, at 7 p.m. ET, with David McNally—bestselling author, award-winning film producer, and Speakers Hall of Fame member. He has survived cancer and lost both his wives. We’ll talk about finding purpose and moving forward when life hasn’t gone as planned.
During your free week, join the interview, explore a replay that interests you, and try one useful idea. See whether it helps with something that matters in your life.
Cancel before your seven-day trial ends and pay no membership fee. A credit card is required at signup, and membership automatically continues at $37 a month unless you cancel. You can cancel anytime. Set a reminder for day six so you have time to decide.
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And get a little help putting this into practice
Now, here are four more ways to bring your stress down and your balance up.
3. Choose your fights carefully
You spend twenty minutes answering an irritating social media comment. Or you replay someone’s remark all afternoon. Has any of that made your day better?
Some issues need a conversation. Others need to be dropped.
Ask yourself: “Does this matter? Does it need my attention? Can I make a difference?”
Your ACTION step:
Choose one irritation to stop feeding. Address it calmly if a solution is needed. Otherwise, let it go.
4. Balance your “get” goals and “be” goals
You want to “get” a project finished, “get” the house organized, or “get” more money saved. Fine. But who are you becoming while you pursue those goals?
More patient? More confident? Or simply more hurried?
There’s more to a good life than getting things done. Are you becoming someone you respect—and someone others enjoy being around?
Your ACTION step:
Pair one “get” goal with one “be” goal. Make it specific: “I want to be more present, so I’ll put my phone away during dinner.”
5. Accept that life is unfinished
I was raised to finish my work before I could play. But in adult life, the work keeps coming.
If you need an empty to-do list before you rest, you’ll rarely rest. There will always be another email, another errand, another request.
Your ACTION step:
Leave one nonurgent task unfinished. Take twenty minutes to walk, read, listen to music, or do something that refreshes you. The laundry can wait.
6. Increase your appreciation
One day, I took a walk by myself and said out loud, with meaning and enthusiasm, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I repeated those words a thousand times.
That simple exercise changed something for me. When stress came along, a thought of thankfulness began popping into my mind and weakening the stress.
Gratitude doesn’t erase a problem. But it helps keep that problem from becoming all you see.
Your ACTION step:
Name three specific things you appreciate. Then thank someone for something specific. You don’t have to repeat “thank you” a thousand times to begin.
Choose one and start
Please don’t turn these six ideas into six more obligations. Pick one and use it this week.
And if you’d like my help along the way, start your FREE seven-day trial of NEXT-LEVEL YOU and join David McNally and me Tuesday, October 13, at 7 p.m. ET.
Try one useful idea. See what the community offers. Cancel before your trial ends and pay no membership fee.
Keep on growing. The best is yet to come!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman