Comedian Rodney Dangerfield used to joke that he “got no respect.” He said it was so bad his wife wouldn’t even let him be in their wedding photos.

Now that’s bad. But it’s nothing new.

Over a century ago, psychologist William James wrote, “The deepest craving in human nature is to be appreciated.” That hasn’t changed.

In fact, most people walk through life feeling under-recognized, under-appreciated, and taken for granted—at work, at home, and even among friends.

Why?

Because most people are more focused on getting their recognition needs met than meeting the recognition needs of others.

But here’s the upside—and this is powerful:

👉 When you consistently meet someone’s need for appreciation, you gain influence.
👉 You build trust.
👉 You increase cooperation, motivation, and goodwill.

The question is not whether appreciation works.
The question is how to do it well.

Here are practical, proven ways you can start today.

► 1. Be Credible

If you rarely express appreciation and suddenly start handing out lavish praise, people get suspicious

Instead, start small and be real.

• One sincere compliment today

• Another in a few days

• Then make it a habit

Consistency builds credibility.

Do this:
Pick one person and acknowledge one specific behavior—no speeches required.

► 2. Be Specific

General statements such as “You’re wonderful… super… neat… great” are too vague to be fully effective. People will wonder if you’re “just saying it” or if you really mean it. And they’ll never know for sure what you are referring to.

Vague praise doesn’t stick.

Specific praise lands.

I remember working endlessly on college papers, only to get them back with a grade and the words “Good job.” Even with an A, I felt cheated. There was nothing specific to hold on to or build from.

Specificity tells people:

• You noticed

• You thought about it

• You meant it

Instead of:
“Nice presentation.”

Try:
“The way you opened with that story made the whole presentation more engaging.”

► 3. Comment on Improvement—Immediately

Nothing discourages people faster than unnoticed effort.

If someone is trying to improve—especially after feedback—acknowledge progress as soon as you see it.

Don’t wait for:

• The next performance review

• The next meeting

• The next formal check-in

If you delay, people assume their effort didn’t matter.

Do this:
The moment you see improvement, say something—privately or publicly.

► 4. Give Public Commendations (When Appropriate)

Private praise is good.
Public praise is powerful.

• Recognize someone in a team meeting

• Compliment them in front of others

• Mention their contribution to your boss while they’re present

Public appreciation multiplies motivation.

Rule of thumb:
Praise publicly. Coach privately.

► 5. Put It in Writing

Even though face-to-face appreciation is wonderful, sometimes it can be even more powerful to put your comments on paper. Take three minutes from your schedule. Write out four or five sentences — handwritten, not e-mail — and send them to the person.

I find that employees and coworkers keep those notes for a long, long time. Somehow, they know it takes a bit more time and effort to compose a note than make a comment and that makes your appreciation all the more special.

I’ll never forget the impact one of my notes had. To encourage one of my college students years ago, I wrote him a note that said: “I enjoy having you in class. I like your jokes and stories. You make class more fun.”

Then I went on to write the following, because he seemed to be struggling a bit in my class. I wrote, “I think you’ll be okay in college. Don’t give up. You have my support.”

Seventeen years later, a man hollered out to me at Logan Airport in Boston. He said, “Dr. Zimmerman, I want to thank you for your note. It changed my life.”

Of course I wondered, “What note?” I had forgotten.

He pulled out of his wallet a ragged piece of paper, my note from seventeen years before. He said, “You don’t know this, but my parents told me I was too stupid for college. And I was scared when I started because I had never done well in school. Then you wrote me the note. Whenever I’ve felt insecure the last number of years, I’ve taken out your note and read it again. I’ll bet I’ve read your note a thousand times.”

I thought, “Wow! A single note motivated someone to achieve his goals for years and years.”

One note.
Years of impact.

Do this:
Write a 4–5 sentence handwritten note this week and send it to someone. It may matter more than you’ll ever know.

► 6. Use Relayed Positives

When you hear someone say something good about another person—pass it along.

“Someone mentioned how much they appreciate your follow-through.”

Few things feel better than knowing others speak well of us when we’re not around.

► 7. Turn Negatives into Positives

Most criticism can be reframed without lowering standards.

Instead of:
“It took you forever to finish.”

Try:
“You stuck with it—and that perseverance matters.”

This doesn’t excuse poor performance.
It recognizes strength while encouraging growth.

Your Simple Action Plan (Do This This Week)

1. Identify three people at work or among customers

2. Identify three people in your personal life

3. Use at least two appreciation methods from this article

4. Be sincere, specific, and timely

No one—ever—complains about too much appreciation.

Want to Go Deeper? Join Me in NEXT-LEVEL YOU

If these ideas resonate with you, they’re just a small sample of what we’ll work on inside NEXT-LEVEL YOU: Communication, Confidence, and Leadership for Everyday Success.

This online community is designed to help you:

• Build trust and respect in every relationship

• Communicate with clarity and confidence

• Motivate others without manipulation

• Strengthen your leadership—at work and at home

• Apply practical tools immediately, not someday

This is not theory.
It’s real-world skill-building, discussion, reflection, and application.

👉 You can pre-sign up here:
https://link.apisystem.tech/widget/form/grLxtf4aQ4VIiSBs1EzE

If you want to become more confident, influential, respected, and effective—this community was built for you.

Dr. Zimmerman’s Tuesday Tip Issue 1333 [Tuesday Tip] ) 👉 Why Appreciation Is the Most Underrated Leadership Skill

To ask Dr. Z any question or to schedule a free consultation, email him at Alan@DrZimmerman.com.

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To receive more information on Dr. Z’s speaking, training, and leadership coaching, go to https://www.drzimmerman.com/.