What If They’re Right?
Years ago, one audience evaluation forced me to ask a question I really didn’t want to ask.
What if they’re right?
Like most professional speakers, I read every evaluation after a presentation.
This particular program had gone well or so I thought.
Most of the comments were encouraging. People appreciated the ideas, enjoyed the stories, and said they were leaving with practical tools they could use immediately.
Then I came across one evaluation that stopped me in my tracks.
It simply said, “Good content, but he didn’t connect with our audience.”
My first reaction was probably the same as yours would have been. I immediately started making my case.
“That person just didn’t relate to my style.”
“You can’t please everyone.”
“The other evaluations were excellent.”
And to be fair, those thoughts weren’t entirely wrong.
One critical comment shouldn’t outweigh dozens of positive ones.
But instead of dismissing it, I asked myself one uncomfortable question:
“What if they’re right…at least partly?”
Notice, I didn’t ask whether they were completely right.
I didn’t automatically accept their criticism.
I simply became curious.
Over the next several months I paid much closer attention to audience feedback. I videotaped my presentations. I asked trusted colleagues to critique not only my content but my delivery.
Instead of focusing on one evaluation, I looked for patterns. And I found one.
Several people, over time, made remarkably similar comments.
My content was strong. But sometimes I was so focused on delivering information that I wasn’t involving the audience as much as I could.
That realization changed the way I spoke. I added more interaction. I asked more questions. I invited more participation. I became less concerned with covering every point and more concerned with connecting with every audience.
Looking back, that evaluator wasn’t completely right.
But they weren’t completely wrong either.
More importantly…
They changed the questions I asked myself.
The Questions We Ask Determine the Lives We Live
I’ve spent decades coaching executives, leaders, and organizations.
Here’s something I’ve noticed.
The most successful people aren’t necessarily smarter. They don’t make fewer mistakes. They don’t receive less criticism. They simply ask themselves better questions after something goes wrong.
Many people instinctively ask:
“Who’s to blame?”
“Why did this happen to me?”
“How can I defend myself?”
“Why don’t people understand?”
Those questions may make us feel better temporarily. But they rarely make us better.
Accountable people ask TWO SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT QUESTIONS.
They ask,
“What can I learn?”
And then…
“What do I do next?”
Those questions move them forward.
Responsibility Isn’t Enough
One of the biggest misunderstandings I see is confusing responsibility with accountability.
Responsibility says, “I made a mistake.”
That’s important.
But accountability doesn’t stop there.
Accountability says, “I made a mistake. What do I do next?”
Suppose I miss an important meeting.
A responsible person says, “I overslept. That’s on me.”
Responsibility admits the past.
An accountable person says, “I overslept. I apologize. Here’s what I’m changing so it doesn’t happen again.”
Do you hear the difference?
Accountability builds the future.
Accountability isn’t simply about owning your mistakes. It’s about choosing your response.
The Freedom of Accountability
Ironically, many people think accountability is restrictive.
I’ve found exactly the opposite. Accountability creates freedom.
The moment you stop asking, “Whose fault is this?”
and begin asking, “What do I do next?” you take back control.
You stop waiting for circumstances to change. You stop waiting for other people to change. You stop replaying yesterday.
Instead, you begin creating tomorrow.
That’s incredibly freeing.
Looking Ahead
Over the next several weeks I’d like to explore seven practices I’ve consistently observed in highly accountable people.
We’ll talk about facing reality honestly, accepting responsibility, moving from blame to solutions, having courageous conversations, choosing our attitudes, keeping our commitments, and refusing to let excuses determine our future.
None of us practices these perfectly.
I certainly don’t.
But every one of us can practice them better.
Takeaway
This week, pay attention to the questions you ask yourself.
When you make a mistake… When someone criticizes you… When a project doesn’t go as planned… When life disappoints you… Listen carefully to your internal dialogue.
Are your questions helping you defend yourself? Or helping you grow?
Then replace them with these two questions:
“What can I learn?”
“What do I do next?”
Those two questions won’t change your past.
But they can absolutely change your future.
Continue the Conversation
If this Tuesday Tip resonates with you, I’d love to invite you to continue the conversation.
After more than eight months of planning, writing, recording, and building, NEXT-LEVEL YOU is now officially open.
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If you’re ready to move beyond simply reading about personal growth and begin living it alongside others who are committed to doing the same, I’d love to welcome you.
Learn more here: https://join.drzimmerman.com/
Dr. Alan Zimmerman
CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame
alan@drzimmerman.com
+1 (239) 273-7743 – Work
www.DrZimmerman.com