“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” Doris Mortman
According to legend, many battles were fought over the beautiful Helen of Troy. Unfortunately, Helen was lost after one of the battles. When the army returned to Greece, Helen was not on any of the ships.
Menelaus went out to find her, at great personal peril. He finally found her in one of the seaport villages. She had been suffering from amnesia, and forgetting who she was, she had stooped to the lowest possible level. She was living as a prostitute.
Menelaus found her in rags, dirt, shame, and dishonor. He looked at her and cried, “Helen.” Her head turned. “You are Helen of Troy!” he said. And with those words, her back straightened and the royal look came back. She had been redeemed.
You may be deflated and dishonored in your own eyes because you don’t realize who you are. And you may have too little self-esteem because you don’t know how to go about getting it.
But it’s possible to have a L.A.S.T.I.N.G. self-esteem and self-confidence that will never let you down. I talk about that at great length in my book, “PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success.”
Here are a few tips to get you started.
=> 1. Be Yourself
One of my favorite movies is “Forrest Gump.” It’s filled with caring, character, and wisdom.
I was especially touched when Forrest was asked the biggest, most important question anyone can be asked. Someone asked him, “What are you going to be when you grow up?”
Dumbfounded, Forrest replied, “Well, I’m going to be me, aren’t I?”
Great answer. Despite the fact that the world labeled him as “slow” or “retarded,” Forrest intuitively knew the importance of being himself. It’s a mark of healthy self-esteem.
You see, people with poor self-esteem often try to be like somebody else. And that only leads to self-loathing. You can’t possibly like yourself if you don’t even want to be yourself.
Of course that doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Nobody is. It doesn’t mean you can’t and shouldn’t improve. Everybody needs to. It simply means you’re valuable just the way you are. So forget conformity.
And don’t confuse popularity with happiness. Popularity is when OTHER PEOPLE like you. Happiness is when YOU like yourself. Or as author Rita Mae Brown said, “The reward for conformity is everyone likes you but yourself.”
=> 2. Like Yourself – Despite Your Imperfections.
Being yourself is the first step. The second step is liking yourself. And that’s not always easy.
After all, most commercials are intended to hurt your self-esteem. They want you to dislike yourself — enough — so you’ll buy their products. Their products promise to bring you beauty, wealth, and love … just for starters.
Forget that. At some point, you’ll have to DECIDE to like yourself just the way you are. You’ll have to realize that you’re okay because God doesn’t make junk.
You need the courage to be imperfect. You see anyone can like him/herself if he/she is perfect. It takes courage to realize you’ve got some warts and challenges — and still like yourself.
Again, I talk about that at great length in my book, “PIVOT” How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success.”
And then, go on to…
=> 3. Visualize Yourself As Victorious.
One of the great secrets to successful living is to develop the art of using images. We succeed by the pictures we form in our minds. As Dr. Norman Vincent Peale said, “No problem can overcome you if you image yourself overcoming that problem.”
Suppose I lay a plank on the ground. Almost anyone could easily walk up and down that plank. But if I raised that plank 20 feet off the ground, how many people do you think would get across it without falling? I would guess quite a few people would fall.
Why can people walk the plank when it’s on the ground but not while it’s elevated? Because, on the ground you, image yourself as succeeding. Off the ground, you image yourself as falling.
Your mental picture of yourself is vital. What you think, what you visualize, what you image is to a large degree what you will become — just like the eagle who thought he was a chicken.
As the story goes, a young boy found an eagle’s nest while climbing in the mountains around his father’s farm. He removed an egg from the nest and placed it under a hen back at the farm. The eagle hatched along with the other chicks. All his young life he was raised among chickens. Knowing no better he came to see himself as a chicken.
Then one day an eagle flew high over the chicken coop. As he watched this great magnificent eagle flying high, the thought came to him that he too wished to soar over the mountains. With a burst of inspiration the young eagle flew to the top of the chicken coop. From there he soared to the top of a low hillside. As his confidence grew he soared higher and higher until he discovered his great self, his true nature.
In a similar sense, to have a powerful self-esteem, a lasting self-confidence, you need to form a mental image of yourself as great, large instead of small, and the master of difficulty rather than the victim.
The professional tennis player Arthur Ashe put it this way. He said, “Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.”
Action: In which way would you like to be more victorious? Write out your description in as much detail as possible. And then spend two to three minutes each holding that picture in mind.
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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT…
The Journey To The Extraordinary (aka Peak Performance Boot Camp)
Terri Burnor from General Dynamics Advanced Information Systems said: “Your boot camp made a powerful impact on my life. I’ve always been a believer in the power of positive thinking, but when you actually SHOWED us the mind-body connection, I was amazed. I now know I can’t just try to keep a lid on negativity … because it will always come out. And it will always affect my relationships. I’ve got to be transformed into a positive person. I’ve got to be more open to possibilities and less biased with preconceived notions. And with everything you taught us, I can do that.”
Brant Barr from the Mayo Clinic wrote about his experience: “Alan, your boot camp was fantastic, and I have plans to send several friends and family members. And thanks for including some free one-on-one coaching with you. That’s a great bonus for all the boot camp participants. It will help me in making the necessary changes for the next portion of this journey.”
I invite you to come to the Boot Camp in Minneapolis (on September 14-15, 2006) or London, England (on September 21-22, 2006). The London Boot Camp is being sponsored by Lloyds TSB Bank–Group IT (but anyone is welcome to attend).
WHEN: September 14-15, 2006 in Minneapolis
September 21-22, 2006 in London
COST: $1295 is full cost
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Or call us at 1-800-621-7881
By the way, it’s not too early to sign up. We’ve already got some people signed up who could not get into the Chicago Boot Camp. Just go to https://www.drzimmerman.com/tools/bootcamp.htm if you want to be included in the Minneapolis or London Boot Camps.
PS. There has never been a price increase in the JOURNEY/BOOT CAMP tuition — even though the program has been offered for several years. But THE PRICE OF THE BOOT CAMPS WILL BE GOING UP $100 IN THE NEXT TWO OR THREE WEEKS. I would suggest that you REGISTER NOW to avoid the price increase.
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——————-ABOUT THE AUTHOR——————————
Dr. Alan Zimmerman is a full-time professional speaker, who has given more than 3000 keynote, half, and full-day programs across the country and around the world. His high energy, high content, high involvement programs help people to be MORE MOTIVATED, COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY, and WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM.
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Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, CSP, CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame
Zimmerman Communi-Care Network, Inc.
20550 Lake Ridge Drive
Prior Lake, MN 55372 USA
Tel: 952-492-3888
Fax: 952-492-5888
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Reprint permission is granted when the following credit appears: ©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman’s “Tuesday Tip,” a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to https://www.drzimmerman.com/