Try Tipping Before The Meal Arrives

T.I.P. = To Insure Promptness + To Improve Performance

In most of our cultures, we’re taught to “tip” a service person AFTER he/she has completed a job — IF the job was satisfactory. But I’m told that’s exactly the opposite of how “tips” were originally used.

In days gone by, a person would “tip” someone in advance. That would insure prompt service and a better performance.

I think there’s a lesson to be learned from that custom. Instead of hoping or waiting for the cooperation you want and need, why not do some things IN ADVANCE to make sure you get it?

Last week I talked about a couple ways we turn off the cooperation of others. But let’s look at some things you can do to get more cooperation … from just about anybody.

=> 1. Show Interest In The Other Person.

Jim Collins, the author of “Built To Last” and “Good to Great,” talked about that when he was interviewed by “Business 2.0.” He said one day, early in his teaching career, a colleague sat him down, and said, “You spend too much time trying to be interesting. Why don’t you invest more time being interested?”

His colleague continued, “By practicing the art of being interested, the majority of people can become fascinating teachers. Nearly everyone has an interesting story to tell.”

He’s right. When I began writing these “Tuesday Tips” several years ago, I wondered what could I possibly say, week after week, year after year. I was afraid I would run out of material in a short matter of time. Not so. I learned that the more interest I took in others, the more I learned from them and the more I had to write.

But I also learned that interest leads to cooperation. As Dale Carnegie taught years ago, the more you show interest in others, the more interest they’ll take in you and your requests.

=> 2. Build His/Her Ego … Sincerely.

Ted Nichols knew that secret. For years he worked out at the Sky Line Fitness Center in Washington, DC. But he did more than work out. Ted learned the names of the people who worked behind the desk — because he believed that everyone, even the people behind the desk, were important.

The strange thing was, of the 4000 members of the fitness center, almost no one else bothered to learn the names of the desk people. They were too preoccupied with getting changed and working out.

But Ted took the time to learn the names of the desk people. He took the time to treat them with dignity and respect. He built their egos … sincerely. And when Ted wanted to be on the tennis courts — which were always crowded — Ted got to be on the tennis courts. The desk people made sure of that because they controlled the schedule.

You might try this. It works for me. When I’m at a restaurant, I ask for the name of the waiter or waitress — if he/she hasn’t already told me — or if he/she isn’t wearing a name tag. I simply say, “I don’t want to be served by a person whose name I don’t even know.” They always tell me.

Then I share some sincere, honest praise … if at all possible. I might say, “I’ve heard this restaurant has excellent service. Is that true?”

Immediately the wait person will straighten up and say, “Uh-uh-uh. Oh yes.” But I notice whatever his/her answer might be, I always get better service as a result.

Scott Jerabek from Bayer Crop Service learned how to use this second technique at my Peak Performance Boot Camp. Scott said, “Thank you for the outstanding experience at your Boot Camp and for the positive changes that I’ve been able to make. By just using one of your techniques, exhibiting an attitude of gratitude, I’ve broken through some barriers in my career as a professional salesperson. And I’ve been able to improve, really improve, two of my tougher customer relationships. On top of all that, your Boot Camp gave me the tools to maintain a positive mental attitude and build my self-esteem. Thank you again.”

Scott learned that people are driven by their egos — and it pays to stroke their egos — if you can do it sincerely. And he learned how to do it in a way that really works.

I invite all of you to my next Peak Performance Boot Camp which will be the most powerful, life-changing, goal-achieving, career-enhancing, relationship-building program you’ve ever attended.

=> 3. Do More Than Expected.

So many people do just enough to get by, and then they wonder why they don’t get all the help and cooperation they want from others. They’re so focussed on getting that they do very little giving.

The masters of cooperation behave quite differently. They do a lot more for others than is expected — out of love, caring, and thoughtfulness — not out of some mistaken attempt at martyrdom or manipulation. And as a result, others willingly and gladly live with them, work with them, and buy from them.

Ed Reede from the U.S. Army told me about one such individual, Ryan, who he called the best shoe salesman in the world. When you entered Ryan’s shop in Huntington, Pennsylvania, you always got a warm greeting. But before you could discuss shoes, Ryan had to check your feet.

And Ryan didn’t just measure your feet. He gave you a foot massage. He rubbed and pressed and cracked your feet. Of course it was great, but he wasn’t just working out your tight muscles. By the time Ryan was done massaging your feet, he knew more about your feet than you ever did!

Then Ryan would ask such things as, “How is your mother, Bert? And your sister, Alice?”

Eventually you were ready to look at shoes, but then Ryan became the consultant. He might say, “With those contracted arches, you really need a special size, and a support under the instep.” Maybe that style you had your eye on wouldn’t work too well with your feet, but he had a comfortable pair in another style that wouldn’t cause your feet any trouble in the long run.

As Ed reported, “From the time I was old enough to walk into Ryan’s shop, I learned why my parents were willing to make the seventy-mile round trip just to buy shoes from Ryan. It wasn’t because Ryan’s shoes were better than the shoes you could buy in State College, but Ryan cared about you, and he cared enough to make sure you wore shoes that were good for your feet.”

But here’s the clincher. Ed said, “Ryan didn’t treat people well just because he was selling shoes. He truly loved people as much as he loved selling shoes, and always went out of his way to do his best for people. Every time we left Ryan’s shoe store we always felt special and happy all the way back over Tussy Mountain and every time we put on Ryan’s shoes!”

Ryan did more than his customers ever expected, and as a result, he got more of their business and more of their loyalty than anyone else around. He got their willing cooperation!!! Could the same thing be said about you? That you’re doing more for your coworkers, your customers, and your family members than they expect?

List five people who have built your ego — sincerely. Write down what they did, how they did it, and how it made you feel.

Action:  From your listing and analysis, pick one or two similar things you could do for one other person. In the process of boosting the other person’s ego, you’ll also be strengthening your relationship with that person as well as opening the doors to greater cooperation in the future.