Emotionally Intelligent

2 Ways to Be Self-Empowered and Emotionally Intelligent Now!

With Christmas coming soon, as I sit in an airport, about to fly on to my next client engagement, they’re playing the song “Tis the Season to be Jolly” over the speaker system. That’s great. I love this time of the year, all the music, festivities, and the true meaning of Christmas.

But if we’re going to be really real with each other, too many people will experience a Christmess instead of a holly-jolly holyday.

Of course, there are a lot of reasons for that. One of them is simple ignorance. No one ever told them the meaning of the occasion.

Another reason is a lack of Emotionally Intelligence. They don’t have the skills to manage themselves as well as they could.

► 1. Say “Thank you” every time you’re served by someone. Be Emotionally Intelligent.

It’s amazing when you meet someone who is expressively and genuinely grateful. It’s amazing because, frankly, it’s rare.

I’ll never forget the time I worked as a server in a restaurant in England.

Every time I went by a certain table, whether I was refilling waters, bringing food, anything, the young man at the table (no more than 20 years old) graciously said “Thank you.” I even heard him from close proximity saying it to all the other employees when they stopped by his table.

The experience had a dramatic impact on me. It was so simple what he was doing. Yet, so beautiful. I instantly liked this person and wanted to serve him even more.

I could tell by how he looked at me and the other staff when saying “Thank you” that he meant it. It came from a place of gratitude and humility.

Interestingly, one study has found that saying “Thank you,” facilitated a 66 percent increase in help offered by those serving. Although kindness and human decency is the goal behind expressed thankfulness, don’t be surprised if your habit of graciously saying “Thank you” turns into even more to be thankful for.

My first tip today is simple. Say “Thank you” every time you’re served by someone … at home, at work, at a restaurant, and everywhere else you go. Take nothing and no one for granted.

The great

► 2. Perfect your perseverance. Be Emotionally Intelligent.

Learn the art of stick-to-activity. It’s just one of the things that characterize those who have Emotional Intelligence.

One author wrote,

“Today we’re obsessed with speed, but God is more interested in durability.

We want the quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution. We want a sermon, a seminar or an experience that will instantly resolve all problems, remove all temptation, and release us from all growing pains.

But real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving.”

I agree with that author. Real maturity develops over time, with practice, just like any other physical, emotional, or spiritual muscle in your body, heart, and mind. Maturity does not move from one thing to another thing and another thing without achieving much of anything. Real maturity is marked by perseverance or sticking with something until you accomplish something of significance.

The only thing that absolutely guarantees your failure in life and at work is to stop trying, to let go of your perseverance.

That was a lesson Fritz Kreisler had to learn. As a young boy he wanted to play the violin and later he wanted a musical career. But it didn’t work out the way he wanted so he quit. Kreisler decided to study medicine. He failed miserably at that. So he quit. He joined the army but never made it beyond a low ranking private. Fritz quit again. He continued his pattern of trying different things and quitting each one of them.

Finally, Kreisler went back to his former music teacher. He was told, “What you must have is invincible, undefeatable perseverance so you will never give up.”

Kreisler took the advice to heart. He persevered until he finally succeeded. In fact, he went on to become a world-famous violinist who would pack Carnegie Hall to capacity and keep his audiences spellbound.

Conrad Hilton, the famous hotel entrepreneur, learned the same lesson about the power of perseverance. He said,

“Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”

Self-empowered, emotionally intelligent self-leaders are persevering souls. And like Kreisler, Hilton and millions of others, one of the truths they live by is this … “In all worthwhile endeavors, we must be prepared to endure before we can prevail.”

How well are you doing in terms of perfecting your perseverance? If you were to do one thing to become more effectively persevering, what it would be? And when will you do it?