7th Key: Belief
To successfully lead a team or motivate an individual, you have to believe in the other person. You have to communicate your respect. Of course, that’s just common sense. But it’s not common practice.
Disrespect is rampant. I’m sure you’ve seen it and experienced it. Some people communicate their disrespect through rudeness. In one way or another, they let you know that you don’t count all that much or that your ideas aren’t worthy of consideration.
Other people communicate their disrespect through apathy. They just don’t give a darn. You see it every time a person walks by a piece of trash without picking it up. And you see it every time an employee says, “I just work here.”
If you’ve seen any of that going on in your home or workplace, let me tell you, you can’t afford to let that continue. Disrespect like that is highly contagious and extremely expensive.
Unfortunately, too many interactions fall into the rudeness or apathy categories. In fact, I’ve found the 50 most commonly used negative phrases used on the job … phrases I call “Killer Thoughts and Statements.” And all of them communicate disrespect or a lack of Belief in someone else. When they’re used on or off the job, they literally kill off the energy, cooperation, and performance amongst the people.
Believe it or not, disrespectful thoughts and words can wipe out all your energy and make it impossible – literally impossible – for you to even lift a muscle. At the “Journey to the Extraordinary” program, I’ll reveal how you to stop or overcome the negativity of others … so you can create a more positive workplace or a more positive home environment.
Brent Inmon, a Store Manager, at the Buck and Bass Sport Centre, discovered that.
Brent writes: “I would like to express my deepest thanks for the ‘Journey to the Extraordinary’ experience. From the first day back on the job, I could see a big difference in my attitude — and so could my coworkers.”
I’ll Prove It To You…
That’s one of the major ways I differ from the other teachers you’ve had and the other seminars you’ve attended. They just talk at you and PowerPoint you to death. I make sure everything I teach is a hands-on, get-involved, try-it-for-yourself, take-it-home-and-use-it skill that can be applied immediately to produce immediate results.
There’s a popular phrase that says, “Business goes where it’s wanted.” And it’s true. Extending warmth … giving respect … and showing belief by eliminating Killer Statements … is the fastest way to create an invisible bond between you and your teammates, customers, and even your family members.
That’s what Jim Kaloutas, the President of Kaloutas and Company, learned.
“I want you to know, that as a result of your program, I’ve got a stronger work environment filled with positive people!”
By creating a workplace filled with respect and Belief in one another, you set the stage for the…
8th Key: Engagement
After all, everybody is asking the same question. Everybody is wondering how they can get others to do what they want them to do. Leaders and managers spend years trying to find the answer to that question, as do salespeople, spouses, friends, coaches, etc.
Well there is an answer. There is a way to get people to do what you want them to do. I call it “The Cooperation Principle.”
But I must warn you, it’s going to sound so simple that you may think I’m insulting your intelligence. I’m not. I’ve learned that just about everybody has heard “The Cooperation Principle” before, or some variation of it, but I find very few people who truly understand it. And I find fewer yet who apply it correctly.
“The Cooperation Principle” says: “If you give others what they need, they will give you what you need.”
You can get a bachelor’s degree, a Master’s degree, or even a Ph.D. in business or psychology. But I’ll tell you from experience, almost everything they’ll ever teach you will boil down to some variation of “The Cooperation Principle”. The more important question is HOW you use the principle to get what you want.
Sean Savage, the Vice President of Maghie and Savage Inc., mastered those skills.
“I have noticed considerable improvement in all areas of my life as a result of the Journey to the Extraordinary experience. The most useful information — in relation to my job — was the motivation and communication techniques. Dealing with people is the biggest challenge for many people in their careers, but it isn’t for me anymore.”
First, you have to know what people need. I’ve learned there are 5 things needed by the people in your business life… and 5 things needed by the people in your personal life.
Second, you have to give them what they need. At any given time, one of those 5 needs is driving the other person. Meet that particular need and the other person’s resistance to your request simply melts away.
Sounds simple. But most people twist this around. Most people don’t even think about what the other person needs. Most people try to get what they need first. And that only leads to frustration and headaches.
When “The Cooperation Principle” is executed properly, people will not only give you exactly what you need, they’ll do it with enthusiasm.
That’s what Allan Hermson, the Accounting Manager at Seedorff Masonry, discovered.
Allan Hermson writes: “I improved my listening skills tremendously, and I learned a great deal about attitude. As a manager, I found out how powerful it is to keep things in a positive frame of mind. And people are responding so much better in our new positive team environment. I was able to go back to work and turn a non-performer into a real performer because of your Journey to the Extraordinary experience.”
Of course, you’re probably wondering how you figure out which of the 5 needs is driving the folks at work and at home. You do that by implementing the…
9th Key: Listening
I know thousands of speakers out there who talk about listening. But we’ve got to go several steps farther with this. “Listening” is not enough.
To bring out the best in others, to discover their true needs, to build bonds of trust, you’ve got to start with what I call the “Brave Question Technique.”
Talking about the weather, the traffic, the football game, or any number of superficial topics doesn’t cut it. You’ve got to go deeper to find out what the other person really thinks, feels, wants, and needs.
I’m eager to teach you the Brave Question Technique because I have seen it turn the most troubled relationship into a healthy and incredibly cooperative and enjoyable relationship. And I’ve seen it catapult good teams into consistently victorious teams.
It’s what Beth Jewell, a Defense Manager for the U.S. Air Force, learned to do.
Beth writes: “The most important relationship that greatly improved as a result of your Journey to the Extraordinary was the one with my fiancé. I learned to tune in more, ask the right questions, and listen better. We’ve developed a much better understanding of one another’s thoughts and feelings.”
You start the process by avoiding questions that can be answered with a simple “Yes” or “No.” And you ask more questions that start with “Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How.” Of course there’s a lot more to the process, but you’ll learn about that when you participate in the Journey to the Extraordinary experience.
After you’ve asked a Brave Question, you’ve got to respond with Empathic Listening. And most people don’t. They just wait for their turn to talk again. Empathic Listeners improve their relationships and bring out the best in others by following six critical listening tools.
Do You Have This BIG Problem?
By the way, if you suspect people are saying one thing to your face in meetings and something else behind your back later, you’ve got a BIG problem. And you need to master the Brave Question and Empathic Listening techniques as soon as possible.
Of course, some people say, “I don’t know what to ask the other person. I don’t know what to ask my employee, team member, customer, spouse, or kid. I don’t know how to deepen and strengthen those relationships.” No problem. I’ll give you a list of questions that will open up and build up any relationship.
Other people say they have employees who just won’t talk to them. Or they’ve got kids who give them one-word responses. They can ask questions all day long, but all they get back is a few grunts and groans. There’s no real dialogue.
That’s frustrating, but it is fixable. Bruce Flantzer, the President of PSPR Inc. learned that.
Bruce writes: “The big ‘ah-hah’ for me was ‘Brave Questions.’ I’ve used the technique repeatedly since the Journey experience. It brought my daughter and me closer together than ever before, and I’ve shared the technique and process with a close friend who is going through severe marriage problems. It’s been a great help.”
When you use Empathic Listening correctly, you’ll find that people will love answering your questions, talking to you and working with you.
You will learn how to master these 7th, 8th, and 9th keys of Belief, Engagement, and Listening on the second day of your Journey to the Extraordinary. They all help bring out the best in others.
How To Make Sure This Motivational System Really Works…
But you’ve got to be sure the other person is working to his full potential. And you’ve got to be sure the more difficult people in your life change their attitudes and behaviors. The final three keys ensure exactly that.
You see … on and off the job, your success ultimately depends on other people.
You may be the savviest employee, the most talented entrepreneur, or the most compassionate one in any relationship. But if you can’t communicate your ideas and “sell” your strategies to those closest to you, you’ll get nowhere.
When you start using these proven keys, however, you unlock the door to improved communication, greater influence and cooperation.
Take this next key, for example. Used properly, it releases great reserves of energy lying dormant inside your coworkers. It creates an incredible profit boost by engaging your customers in a whole new way, and it strengthens the bonds in any family.