Some time ago, Marshall Rosenberg from The Center For Nonviolent Communication, taught me there’s always more to anger than the emotion riding on the surface. There are several truths at the center of that anger that have to be remembered and dealt with accordingly.
Rosenberg said, “When I am angry, 3 things are true: 1) There is something I am wanting I am not getting, 2) I’m telling myself that someone ought to be giving it to me, and 3) I’m about to speak or behave in a way that will virtually assure that I won’t get what I want … or at least assure that even if I get it, it will not be given in the way I’d want it most.”
That tells me we’ve got to do more than effective than simply get angry and “let it all hang out.” We’ve got to find a way to communicate the anger in a way that is clear, respectful, and inviting to the other person.