How to Make Your Present-day Stress Disappear

George Carlin, the comedian, shared a brilliant insight into all the stress people experience. As he put it, “When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, ‘What hours are you missing? How can you not have all day?”

We all get the same 24 hours every day. But only a few emotionally intelligent people get to live those hours to the fullest. The rest of the people, whose plates may be just as full, live those hours under the ever-gnawing presence of stress and eventually burnout.

What should you do?

► 1. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Don’t automatically assume it’s going to be a bad day … that someone’s going to be a pain in the neck … that you’ve got too much work to do and not enough time … that you’re never going to get ahead … or whatever. Premature conclusions almost always add a big load of stress to your plate and life. So stop it!

That’s what one lady needed to do on a boiling hot August afternoon in Arizona. True story.

As a security guard was walking around the parking lot, he was stunned to see a driver in a parked car, with the engine off, and all the windows rolled up. Concerned, the guard walked to the car and noticed the middle-aged woman with her fingers laced against the back of her skull, her face wincing in pain. “Ma’am,” the guard asked, tapping on the window, “Are you alright?”

Holding her hands tightly against her head, the woman answered without turning her neck, “No, I’ve been shot!”

Instantly the guard pulled on the door handle but it was locked. He asked the woman to open the door, saying, “I’m a security guard. It’s okay. Let me in.” The woman replied, “I can’t move my hands. My brains are leaking out, and I’ve got to hold them in.”

Desperate to help, the guard forced the door open and discovered a trail of sticky bread dough dripping down the driver’s neck. A quick search revealed the woman had left a bag of groceries in the back seat while she shopped. When she returned a couple of hours later and got behind the wheel, a canister of Pepperidge Farms Crescent Rolls exploded in the extreme heat, rocketing a wad of dough into the back of her scalp!

Jumping to the conclusion that she had been shot by an unseen assassin, the woman mistook the oozing dough for her brains. Instantly she interlocked both hands in a desperate attempt to keep them in … filled with confusion, terror, and stress.

Luckily, once the guard got her out of the car and showed her the canister, she realized she was unharmed. And her stress got under control

Although that scenario may seem funny, you can all fall victim to premature conclusions. And those conclusions can kill you … or at least stress you out big time.

That’s why I teach a simple concept in my recorded webinar called “Take This Job and Love It! 21 Keys to the Work-Life Balance You’ve Always Wanted.” I teach people to “Withhold evaluation until comprehension is complete.” The skill can be mastered in a few minutes with an exercise I teach in this recorded webinar, but it will be a real time, nerve, and life saver ever afterwards

One other way to make your present-day stress disappear is…


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► 2. Learn how to go from peeved to poised.

I know people who seem to be angry all the time and others who are always peeved about something. What a lousy way to live. As I tell my coaching clients, “If your perspective stinks, you’re going to sink.” (F.Y.I., I have two openings right now in my coaching calendar. If you’re interested in working with me on a one-on-one basis, give me a call and we can talk about how that might work for you.)

Instead of being peeved, learn how to be poised. That’s what my 103-year-old, sharp-as-a-tack, physically fit friend Curtis Rhoades teaches me every day. He says, “Alan, when it rains, I let it.”

To get more specific, if you’re running late for an appointment, two phrases vie for your attention: “Oh h_ll!” and “Oh well!” Both are short phrases, spelled almost the same, but the difference made by that one letter has a surprisingly large consequence.

Of course, I’m not advocating profanity. But think about it. When you think or utter “oh h_ll,” you set yourself up to feel put out, angry, and defiant. “Oh well” helps you stay calm and upbeat.

The oh-h_ll reaction, just like the name suggests, makes you hot under the collar. You actually sweat.

By contrast, the oh-well reaction immediately puts you in a frame of mind of what you can do to accept, adapt to, and deal with your stressful situation. Instead of feeling like a victim, you move into a take-control mode of decision making and problem solving.

And finally, for today’s purposes, to make your present-day stress disappear…

► 3. Keep your sense of humor in shape.

It needs to be exercised, just like your body, so it serves you when you need it.

In fact, tomorrow I will send you “75 of the World’s Best One-Liners.” Look for them. Enjoy them. Loosen up a bit. And laugh.

I actually collect humorous things, keep them on hand, and look at them once in a while to keep me stress resistant. I know how hard I work and I know I need to loosen up a bit and laugh more often. Maybe you do as well. And it may do you good to start looking for and collecting some funny things.

For example, my friend Scott Friedman sent me “The Top 10 Most Frightening Country Song Titles” a couple of years ago. I’ve still got them in my collection of funny things. They were:

  • “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”
  • “You Can’t Have Your Kate and Edith Too”
  • “If You Won’t Leave Me, I’ll Find Someone Who Will”
  • “I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here”
  • “Mama, Get the Hammer (There’s A Fly on Papa’s Head)”
  • “My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him”
  • “If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow Them All on You”
  • “I’ve Got You on My Conscience, But, At Least, You’re Off My Back”
  • “Take Me to The Corn Field, Honey, And I’ll Kiss You Between the Ears”
  • “Welcome To Dumpsville, Population U”

Scott got me laughing and my stress for that day, just slipped away. In fact, he even inspired me to write my own song title to add to his Top 10. I wrote, “It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Butt All Day Long.”

Don’t let stress get you down. Take it down, instead!